Lessons From My Exes

To my people: I have been having some FAT A** epiphanies as of lately, and I feel like I just needed to preach a little bit. In one of my recent blogs, I talked briefly about how time works against us (Here’s the linkypoo to that blog if you haven’t read it yet:  https://lessonsfrommyexes.blogspot.com/2019/04/lessons-from-boy-who-taught-me-to-love.html ) and I wanted to touch on that a little more, as well as empowerment. I have been feeling really empowered and this Beyoncé documentary on Netflix that I am watching with my roomie/bestie (SHOUTOUT MAKENNA FAITH) got me feeling like THAT B! We have days where we understand what we need, and we say it to ourselves in our heads. I have learned that it is important to write these things down because what we are capable of as humans and in our thoughts is some of the most important and profound work. I want to take a second to go back to a statement that I made in the blog about the boy who taught me to love myself. I said s...

Before I write all my blogs, there are a lot of things I have to do to get my mind right. The day I know that I am going to write, I feel all types of emotions. Sometimes I am really, REALLY happy that I got over everything I was feeling and got out of some pretty messed up situations. Sometimes I am EXTREMELY sad because in some of the relationships I feel like I didn’t get the closure I deserved or needed. But there is always one common emotion that I have before writing every blog and that is anxiety. This level of anxiousness often fluctuates depending on who I am writing about because I know that in writing about them, I am bringing up a lot of emotional baggage and being very vulnerable about it in the most positive way possible. To write my lessons and talk about different aspects of these relationships doesn’t come as easy as you may think. So, before I write, I take a couple of minutes and remember everything I possibly can about these people. From what I loved to what I...

This one will probably be most difficult to write about, so bear with me. I feel like we have a lot of expectations when it comes to relationships, love, and how we feel like it should look and feel. All of these expectations were thrown out the window for me after my last realish relationship (link to that blog: https://lessonsfrommyexes.blogspot.com/2019/03/lessons-from-boy-with-accent.html ). So I stopped looking. I was about to start going to a new school in a new place so I had the mindset that I was just going to do me, until I was there for about two days and it hit me right in my face. It was just another day after a day of practice, and I was sitting with my team eating dinner. All of a sudden I look up and see probably the most beautiful human being on the planet. Y'ALL. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw this man. I was just in awe. I felt this weird pull that I just had to know him. I had to love him. It was the weirdest thing I have ever fe...

Yep. I fell in love with my best friend. *FAT EYE ROLL* Here's the story. In high school, I can’t lie - social pressures got the best of me. I took on many different personas and had the imagination of a little kid. There was only one point when I felt like my true self, and that was in the company of my best group of friends. This group of friends consisted of 3 boys and 1 other girl. Sure, the ratio was off, but this friend group wasn’t like that. These were some of the truest friends I would ever know and loving them was so easy, but there was one friend in particular that I felt beyond connected to. He was so special to me and still is. He was like a big brother, dad, role model and I don’t know how I landed a friend like him. In retrospect, I had the FATTEST crush on this kid coming into high school, so becoming his friend was just so confusing.  I could do some of the dumbest things on this planet and he would be right there to tell me how stupid it was, but he’d ne...