Lessons From My Exes

There are so many different steps to moving on that no one talks about. There is so much you want to say and do, but in the moment, you don’t know what you’re doing it for or who you’re doing it for. And when you’re in these situations where you are going through the process of ending something with someone – you forget about all the other times where you did it before. How you grieved, accepted, and carried on is the most distant memory and it’s so vague.     There are so many different ideas out there about how you should move on and how you should come to terms with accepting what you deserve, so we try them, and if you’re desperate like me…. You try them all.    I, not so recently, got out of a relationship that I put all of my heart into. I have never wanted anything more in this life for this relationship to be the one that would work because I fucking deserve for something to work. I don’t deserve to be the girl who came before the wife or the woman you create your first child w

I feel like I should just make this a damn surverymonkey instead of a blog because I have so many freaking questions. First of all, can someone just tell me what runs through the male species mind when they are entertaining females? Like I need the actual break down because what the fuck.   This is my thing… I’m completely in a place in my life where I am starting to fully take responsibility for my character flaws and understand where I fall short. With that being said, I am well aware that I do not need to get myself into any sort of “entanglement” (as Jada Pinket Smith would say… *rolls eyes*) because this time of learning and coming to terms with myself is very vulnerable, AND MEN PREY ON THE VULNERABLE… at least the ones I seem to attract. BUT Let’s talk about entanglements anyway because I really need to know your thoughts. I think it is so interesting that this term is a literal buzzword right now because it seems like everyone is in at least one entanglement. I don’t want to di

Listen y’all, I’m pissed. If you are not aware, today is the 26 th  birthday of Ahmaud Arbery. On February 23, 2020, whilst on a run, Ahmaud’s life was taken from him in the most gruesome and horrific way. This IS a tragic loss for the black community and should be taken as a tragic loss across ALL communities. This is a man, a person, who was shot for exercising. If you aren’t black, can you picture this? Can you picture your dad, brother, or boyfriend leaving the house to go for a run and never seeing them again because they were hunted down and shot? Would you feel angry or can you even imagine how that feels? Do you even worry about it? Because I do.  Over the past few days I have had many feelings about this and how it takes a toll on everything I’ve been thinking about in terms of my life and future. The first thing that comes to mind is my future family. I want nothing more in this world than to be a mom someday. The idea of giving my love and passion to a child that I bore

A lot of truth is about to come out and there are only a handful of people who know the true story about this and what actually went down. I want to say that before I start, this is a “relationship” I avoid talking about and thinking about because it was so incredibly terrifying, damaging, and disgusting. I also want to put out the disclaimer that I am in no way looking for sympathy from this situation. This blog has been used as a medium to connect with men and women who have gone through similar experiences and to share my truth because that is what is therapeutic for me. This blog post will probably be one of my deeper ones and there may be some triggering content. Around the time that I was going through my relationship/breakup with the boy who changed my world (blog post here: https://lessonsfrommyexes.blogspot.com/2019/03/i-am-feeling-lot-of-love-in-my-heart.html ), I earned my first job through a family friend’s connections. This had me really excited that I was about to be

To my people: I have been having some FAT A** epiphanies as of lately, and I feel like I just needed to preach a little bit. In one of my recent blogs, I talked briefly about how time works against us (Here’s the linkypoo to that blog if you haven’t read it yet:  https://lessonsfrommyexes.blogspot.com/2019/04/lessons-from-boy-who-taught-me-to-love.html ) and I wanted to touch on that a little more, as well as empowerment. I have been feeling really empowered and this Beyoncé documentary on Netflix that I am watching with my roomie/bestie (SHOUTOUT MAKENNA FAITH) got me feeling like THAT B! We have days where we understand what we need, and we say it to ourselves in our heads. I have learned that it is important to write these things down because what we are capable of as humans and in our thoughts is some of the most important and profound work. I want to take a second to go back to a statement that I made in the blog about the boy who taught me to love myself. I said somet

Before I write all my blogs, there are a lot of things I have to do to get my mind right. The day I know that I am going to write, I feel all types of emotions. Sometimes I am really, REALLY happy that I got over everything I was feeling and got out of some pretty messed up situations. Sometimes I am EXTREMELY sad because in some of the relationships I feel like I didn’t get the closure I deserved or needed. But there is always one common emotion that I have before writing every blog and that is anxiety. This level of anxiousness often fluctuates depending on who I am writing about because I know that in writing about them, I am bringing up a lot of emotional baggage and being very vulnerable about it in the most positive way possible. To write my lessons and talk about different aspects of these relationships doesn’t come as easy as you may think. So, before I write, I take a couple of minutes and remember everything I possibly can about these people. From what I loved to what I